I've mentioned before that I've always been interested in language in one way or another. I know it's not Friday yet but I couldn't resist sharing these real 'groaners' forwarded by Fr Leo.
I challenge anyone to read the whole list without at least one tiny groan escaping from their lips!
You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care centre where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
That was part one, and more than enough for most people, I would imagine . . . real gluttons for punishment can scroll down for part two;
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road, poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade that fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping centre, you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: A jab well done
1 comment:
Mmmmm . . ! Ouch.
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