Friday funnies . . .

If you're getting a bit fed up with pondering on 'the meaning of life, the universe and everything' you might like to consider some of the following philosophical questions I've just received from Sr Anastasia.

I'm surprised to find she has time for such weighty matters as my sources tell me she's currently participating in a national convention on Liturgy and the Eucharist chaired by a certain well-known Archbishop somewhere in the Indian sub-continent - the only woman on the steering committee, no less! Well, I'm impressed anyway.

To more serious matters . . . .

1. Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

5. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

6. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

7. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

8. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

9. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

10. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

11. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

12. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

13. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

14. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

15. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

16. Christmas - What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat chocolate out of your socks?